Thursday, August 29, 2013

She Prepares

     Since it has been almost 2 years since I posted anything at all here and I'm not feeling particularly funny today, this will be sort of rambling but, I hope you find it entertaining none the less.
     As you should know by now, I walk with the dogs, a bunch! On our walk this morning I started to notice the changes Mother Nature is going through in preparation for the coming fall and winter. It was sort of strange to see all of this since Iowa is in the middle of the worst heat wave in 60 years. Nature doesn't know or care that we are sweating like crazy, what it does know is winter is coming.
     The beaver family can be seen in the early morning swimming across our lake with incredibly large branches to improve their lodge and make it strong for the coming ice. During the heat of the day they gather small willow branches to store for their winter food. I love to watch them working until they see me and smack their tail to warn the family. I always feel bad about scaring them but I can't resist watching Natures engineers at work.
     The  Double-crested Cormorants have returned to the lake during their migration  back south. They area among the earliest migratory birds and are a sure sign the seasons are changing. I have started to see a few ducks and geese again which means they have regrown their flight feathers and will be flocking up for their migration soon. Did you know that unlike other birds that molt all year and can fly all the time, ducks molt all of their flight feathers at once and can't fly!
     Although I am deathly allergic to bees I walk the lower lake path to watch them this time of year. It amazes me how they can even fly being so weighted down with all the pollen they have on their legs. I'm guessing it's their legs since I know nothing about bees except that they are dying by the millions. If we kill off all the bees Monsanto we will all starve to death! The loss of the bees habitat is why I am replacing all of my grass with white clover. I know it sounds like a death wish on my part but the honey bees have never stung me.
     I'm pretty sure I would have survived as a hunter gatherer. I don't hunt any more but I have and I could again if I had to. I'm more of a gatherer now and was thinking I needed to start bringing something other that poop bags on my walks to carry stuff in. There are still lots of elderberries both in our yard and on our walk. They make great syrup and would probably make fairly decent wine. In a few weeks the ground cherries will be ready. They are a pain in the butt to harvest and it would take most of the ones I know about to make a pie. I don't bake so they will make a nice meal for the ground squirrels. I noticed most of the wild grapes are ready to pick now and I may pick a few and put them in some vodka just to see what happens! Our poor pear tree is drooping with all the fruit on it. We are still learning about harvesting pears and everything we have read so far give contradictory  information so it is by trial and error. The plum tree and peach tree are still too young to produce fruit but maybe before I die I can have some! Remember my plan of not planting anything in my yard I can't eat!
     When I walk the neighborhood instead of the lake I have noticed the gardens are doing great if people have kept them watered. Lots of tomato and zucchini plants. That reminds me I never have formatted my book to be published. Maybe this winter I'll get around to it.
     It's sort of biter sweet to see the dogs gets so excited when they see and hear the school buses. I used to have to plan my walks around when the buses wouldn't be here. Our sweet Honey Bunch was terrified of them and would start pulling for home before I ever knew they were close.I sure miss that girl. Coshi and Fenwick both perk up at the sound of them since this means there will be children to play with soon!
     This is much longer than I had planned. I should take Mather Natures advice and get a plan together for winter.
     Until next time, Peace my friends.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

'Twas the night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when I walked in the house

The cat sat there burping, while eating the mouse;

No stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

They lay in a heap right there on the chair;

The kids were all cranky and running about,

My head was pounding and I needed to shout;

Mamma pulled her kerchief and blew really loud,

Where’d it all come from it must weigh a pound.

When out from the kitchen the there arose such a clatter,

The disposal was clogged with some unknown matter.

I jumped up and ran for the plunger you see,

The plumber would charge one hell of a fee.

The spot light outside cast a light bright as day,

You could see in the mail box all the bills yet to pay.

I looked very closely and what did I see,

A fat man in red that was rubbing his knee.

With a little more looking, you would have to agree,

A law suit was coming from the ice and the tree.

What the heck was he doing, out on such a night,

I knew that the lawyer was in for a fight.

Get bourbon! Get vodka! Get bud lite and gin,

Get whiskey, get brandy , get a big glass to put it all in.

To the sidewalk I dashed , with the glass that was full

This chubby old man I was having to fool.

I gave him the drink and got him quite drunk,

If he sues me my money will all be defunct.

He drank what I offered and wanted some more,

So we staggered on down the street off to the store.

We giggled and laughed so much that we peed,

I knew of the law suit I would soon be freed.

As we walked on I turned and what did I see,

A cop car with lights on right behind me.

She was dressed all in blue, and was wearing big boots,

I screwed up big time when I called her toots.

The handcuffs were cold as she read me my rights,

I knew I'd done wrong and that really bites.

My jail cell on Christmas was truly quite nice,

The mattress was lumpy but it did have some lice.

My eyes were all blurry and my mouth it was dry,

I felt so damn crappy I just wanted to die.

The old man wore dentures that clicked when he snored,

He farted and grunted right there on the floor.

Morning was coming from the window I saw,

I swear no more problems for me with the law.

I got home in the morning and what do I see,

That old man with reindeer just waiting for me.

“It’s been a great Christmas “he said with a smile

“Best one I’ve had in such a long while”

“You’ve been bad I know that, I’ve looked at the list.

You’ve written this poem with a very bad twist

You can't rhyme or spell right” he said right to me

“It should have been funny and filled with some glee”

He jumped in that red sleigh, and gave a smile,

I knew he would be back after awhile.

I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.

Happy Christmas my friends , and to all a Goodnight.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A mouse in the house

It has been over a year since I've written anything so here we go.
We have a small visitor in our home this winter. A field mouse has decided that he/she would like to live with us.
As you know I'm a real softy when it comes to animals, even a mouse. I have done my research on how to trap a mouse and not hurt it. I have three live traps baited with the stinky cat food they are supposed to love.
The only problem is I haven't caught the darn thing. You would think after a couple days smelling the temptation I would catch something! Today I move them to different location and try again.
If I do manage to catch the little sucker I need to find a safe place to put it so it won't starve this winter. I am planning on taking it back to the brush pile and leaving it some food. I know you are surprised that I'm not building a little mouse condo with running water and heat! I do have my limits.
I'll try to write more in this blog, I promise.
In the mean time my trusty protective mop and I are off hunting down the big mean mouse.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Worlds Best (In my opinion)

By now you have all figured out that I have a rather warped sense of humor and head out on some rather strange adventures.
Since I have been going nuts for a donut for the past month I have decided to search out the worlds best donut! I am willing to try any type of donut so if you have a recommendation let me know. I figure by the time I find the worlds best donut I will have to begin a quest for the worlds easiest diet.
I have already been on several quest for the worlds best. It took years of eating and traveling but I did find the worlds best pancake. It was found at a truck stop on Raton Pass on the New Mexico side. I have had pancakes since I found it and it is still the best.
I have looked for the best French Dip sandwich. At this point the leader is here in Iowa City at a Pub called Mickeys. I am still looking for one to beat it but no luck yet.
The very best french fries are also in Iowa City at Jimmy Jacks barbecue shack. Very crunch and not greasy at all.
I have found the very best gin and tonic in London but I can't remember the name of the place. It appears I had more than one since I can't remember the name of the place.
The very best bottled Gin is made in Iowa of all places. The bottler is Clearheart in Cedar Rapids. It is more of a Genevieve Gin than a Juniper berry gin. Very yummy.
In college I looked for the worlds best running shoe and finally found Nike Finland Blues. They were awesome shoes but are no longer made.
I was on a quest for the worlds best sex but had to give it up because I wasn't getting enough sleep! Hey what can I say. I had my youth in the 70's and 80's.
I already had the worlds best parents and still have the worlds best brother so my life is good.
Until the next time, happy donut hunting!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mothers Day

Mothers Day when your mother is gone is strange. She has been gone for quite a while but I still miss her everyday.
I thought I would take this space to say thanks to her for all she gave me.

Thanks for letting me grow up in a house filled with love.
Thanks for letting me fail so I could learn how to succeed.
Thanks for letting me grow up to be the woman I wanted to be not what others expected me to be.
Thanks for giving me the courage to speak my mind, even if I was wrong.
Thanks for standing by me when I was wrong.
Thanks for always having a box of band aids ready.
Thanks for coming to get me at the police station when I got caught out after curfew.
Thanks for getting your drivers license so you could haul me all over town.
Thanks for getting my string bass in and out of the car when I was too small to do it myself.
Thanks for helping to mend my broken heart on more times than I can remember.
Thanks for having my first legal beer with me.
Thanks for teaching me how to tap dance.
Thanks for teaching me how to make hats out of paper bags.

Thanks for being My Mom.


Friday, March 19, 2010

Spring in Iowa

Since I have spent months complaining about how long the winter has been I thought it was time for me to share some spring time thoughts. The sights and sounds of spring always amaze me. I’m not sure if it is because I have been stuck inside for so long or what. As the Earth starts to warm up for us I’m going to share my observations with you.
1.The starlings at the bird feeders have started to turn all black again, losing all their winter white spots.
2.The male cardinals have started warming up their vocal cords by practicing their mating songs.
3.There is a flood warning at Marengo.
4.The Eagles have all left their winter hunting grounds by the river. I will miss seeing them,
5.The male robins have returned. You can tell they are males because they look like they are wearing black baseball caps backwards! Not that it matters unless you are another robin.
6.I saw 2 Great Blue Herons flying over the house yesterday.
7.There is flooding in Marengo.
8.Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (the 2 groundhogs at the corner) have begun to come out of their den on sunny days. Haven’t seen any babies yet.
9.I got a very brief glimpse of the resident beaver down at our lake.
10.The excellent art work of children has started showing up on the sidewalks.
11.Did I mention the flooding in Marengo?
12.You can hear the very best sound of spring. The kids at the day care next door laughing so hard they are wetting themselves. Why don’t adults laugh this hard?
13.You have to keep a rag by the door to wipe the dogs’ paws when they come in or you have doggie art on your floors.
14.The above mentioned dog starts to shed and you think she will surely be bald any day.
15.High impact flooding at Marengo.
16.I start trying to figure out how to work in the garden even though there is standing water in it.
17.I’m tempted to put my ice scraper away but know better. It’s only March in Iowa and we can get a lot more snow.
18.Iowa City residents start looking at the Iowa River and hope it won’t flood again this year. It truly is very high and I am concerned. If my house floods all of Iowa City is in big trouble since I live on a hill.
19.The daffodils and crocus are poking their heads up in the circle garden.
20.You can hear the frogs croaking at night.
21.I think this is the time of year Marengo floods.
22.The bunnies have started playing catch me, catch me! Baby bunnies to follow soon.

That is just one day of observations for me. I truly love the spring. It makes me even happier to be alive.
Now I don’t know where Marengo Iowa is, but I do know I don’t want to live there. I have heard rumors it floods there.
Enjoy the wonders of Spring.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thoughts on turning 55

My mom always said to me that when you turn the same age as the years you were born in it was supposed to be a special year. I was born in 1955 and will be turning 55 in a few days.

You know how people say "If I had know I would live this long I would have taken better care of myself."? Now I know what they mean. I never thought I would live to 30 let alone 55. I could not have envisioned myself as a 55 year old with a limp and grey hair. I suppose it isn't that bad, I could be a 30 year old with a limp and grey hair. I always wondered what the tattoo I got when I was 21 would look like when I was older. Notice how I didn't say old.

I guess I'm at that point in my life where I look back and the things I have done. Most of it I'm glad I did and fairly proud of what I accomplished. Like most people there are a few things I have done that I am not very proud of and I am sorry I did them. Just more learning experiences!

So what am I going to do now? Well I need to add a few more things to my bucket list since it is getting rather short.

Let's see I still need to:
1.Take the kayak down the hill behind the house.
2.Learn to row on a crew.
3.Learn to not hate lima beans.
4.See if I can still do a cartwheel.
5.Not break any more bones. See items 1 and 4 on the list!
6.Become the best drummer I can.
7.Rediscover a passion.
8.Pursue the above passion with gusto.
9.Convince myself that I am not old just well aged.

I'm sure I can think of a few more to put on but not today.

To my friends and family I want to thank you for putting up with all of my slightly nutty ideas. For convincing me I really am hurt and taking me to the hospital! Thank you for just being who you are and for accepting me for who I am.

So for the next years of my life I'm going to live my life to the fullest and do my very best to not repeat the mistakes of the past. I am going to celebrate living everyday and smile at people I don't know.