For those of you that don't know me or haven't seen me in years let me tell you about myself. I'm about 5'8" ( shorter than I used to be ) and around 140 pounds. In the chest area there is nothing to brag about. I mean you can't use my chest as a rain catchment system but not what you would call big! I'm a former body builder that has flexibility to rival a gymnast. My personality type can be summed up as, I figure that what the heck is always the correct decision. For example I think taking my kayak down the big snow covered hill by the house sounds like great fun. Everyone should be glad that it is blocked in by all the snow.
We showed up nice and early just like we were told to and get the mountain of paperwork done and head back to the prep room where they proceed to tell us what is going to go on and that it is a short procedure with very little discomfort. The nurse is nice and the doctor is a doctor. He's been doing this procedure for 10 years so he's got a bunch of experience. No problems!
Dawn heads off to the waiting room and I head into the procedure room. No problems!
My first look at the table wasn't bad. It's a hard plastic thing with an 8 or 9 inch hole in the middle for your breast to go into. The table is about 1 1/2 inches thick. All the medical stuff goes on under the table. There is a mammogram type thing under there and the biopsy machine. Now the biopsy thing is a spring loaded and pops when they fire it not loud but you can hear it when they launch it. No problems!
I get settled on this very uncomfortable table in a very awkward position and they start doing the mammogram part to find the area they need. Mammograms 1-12 they can't find it. Now we have a problem, the area they need is right next to my rib cage on the top of my breast. Enter Miss Necessity in the Mother of invention! Cheryl you think you could fit you arm and chest down through the hole? Okay I'm flexible I can do this. Now this is a 9 inch hole and I have broad shoulders but I say sure what the heck!
Now remember how I said the table is hard plastic and very thick? So after much wiggling and grunting I get the upper 1/4 of my chest into this 9 inch hole. My right arm is hanging down and all the blood rushes to it and my hand begins to swell. Uh Rose ( x-ray person ) can you get my ring off?
By this point in time the hard plastic has begun to indent itself into the top of my right shoulder and it hurts. Let the mammograms begin again! On the 19th or 20th we have success! Now Cheryl hold still and we can get started. Much easier said than done. They are all very concerned about me because I'm in this terrible and painful position. They gave me the option to quit but what the heck lets keep going.
They clean the area and give me a local so I won't feel the incision. By this time the nurse from the prep area had come into the room. I can see the concern on her face and she says she is sorry she had no idea I would end up having to do this. Now let me say here that they have NEVER had to do it this way before so there is no way she could have prepared me. She is there to literally hold my hand and help me through this.
Okay enough time has passed that I should be numb enough. Let the biopsy begin! Bang the shoot the needle into me. Oh oh we have a big problem! I can feel it!! What to do now. I start to go into shock. Clammy, hot, light-headed. We have 2 choices at this point stop and get me out of shock then start all over again or keep going. The choice is mine. My choice is keep going.
So now we have my shoulder hurting, my boob hurts and I'm a little shocky. It was bad but I know I can handle it. I have been through worse. Then it happened, a hot flash! Now in Iowa winters a hot flash can sometimes be a welcome thing. You get to have your own personal tropical vacation in the dead of winter. Now, I don't sweat no matter what I'm doing. In a matter of seconds I am drenched in sweat! The nurse uncovers me and turns on a fan all the while wiping my face with a wet rag.
Now while I feel like crud on top of the table the test is continuing under the table and I can feel every bit of it. The test didn't take that long just like they had said. Just about 15 minutes. Final part is putting a titanium chip in me so they can find the area again if they need to later. Done!!
Now I need to get myself out of that damn hole while I am in shock. Little more back ground information here. I'm the type of person that forgets to eat and when I'm nervous food is not even on my radar. All I have eaten since I woke up is a bowl of oatmeal. My blood sugar is low and shock makes it even lower. I can barely move without fainting but I manage to get out of the hole and manage to sit up.
One thing left to do. Another mammogram to check that they got everything they needed and that the titanium chip is where it is supposed to be. Remember Rose? She takes me into the room and starts the mammograms. All I can say is they have emergency release buttons on those things for a reason! I'm still very light-headed and start to pass out. Not once but 3 times! In the end we got it done.
Back to the procedure room. Get all bandaged up and dressed again. The nurse who was awesome through this whole thing hands me a single red rose! Says she is sorry she couldn't have been more help and she has never seen anybody able to go through what I just went through.
Home!! They told me that I had to sleep with a bra on tonight. Let me see do I own one??? I think I may have one somewhere. Sure enough I find the one from the last time I had this done. It has to be one size to small so you can't move, so it is small. Houston we we have another problem! I have gained weight since the last time so it is really small. Again I need to try and fit my shoulder and boob into a place that is really small and tight. After much twisting, turning and a few choice words success. Sleeping in a bra wasn't much fun and it was removed as soon as I got up. I think I may have a good old fashioned bra burning this afternoon.
I survived the whole thing. It hurt, it was uncomfortable and took 3 times as long as usual. Would I do it again? Yes. Do I want to? No
Ladies, please get your yearly well woman exam it can save your life. Gentlemen, please get a PSA test it saved my dad.
Thanks for the support during this. If I have cancer so be it. I'll just do what need to be done no matter what it is.
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